I have been harboring resentment about my “emotional awareness in relation to resilience” graduate project because I was convinced it was our university’s attempt to help me tolerate untenable circumstances, just another brick in the wall of social oppression being used to placate the victim. It wasn’t until I visited the Chico Peace and Justice Center that I was able to comprehend the possibility that my “emotional awareness in relation to resilience” lesson could be designed in a way that helps people acquire the resolve to improve the situation.

I am starting to recognize how those beliefs dictated my behavior this year. Most of the time, my annoyance would manifest in comments that were more adversarial than conversational. This tone puts people on the defensive, where they must be willing to trust someone who is behaving as an opponent rather than an ally. It can be done, but it goes against human nature. In modern society, it defies accepted mores. The exception to this rule are trauma-informed providers who recognize these actions as a manifestation of pain and respond with patient compassion, loving support and insightful guidance. Any healthy individual wanting to heal and grow would be wise to seek out these people.

Ultimately, my understanding of oppression did little to improve the situation. I had to let go of the anger. It was keeping away people who wanted to help me. We oppressed babies are quick learners; survival dictates no less. We learn the rules of oppression, and, all to frequently, use them against ourselves and each other. We must avoid becoming our own worst enemies. We can start by putting away hostility so that people who love us can help us.

Yes, emotional awareness in relation to resilience is useful in placating the victim, because being calm improves the likelihood that we are available to accept help. Coincidentally, it is also a tool that helps us gain knowledge about how to make things better. Your perception will define the outcome.